Prelude to a Farewell

By Upasana Gupta

‘We’ll never fight again, Motts. Promise me?’

‘Never Pashi. I promise you. And even if we do, because its me and you, we’ll come here, this spot, and hug it out’.

‘Fine, I love you babbby! Just one more question- What are you, Motts?’ And I smiled cheekily.

‘I’m your little bitch, Pashi!’ And our laughter echoed on..

We have friends, boyfriend/s, family, social friends, a best friend. But sometimes, very rarely, we may find in our lives, this one person, one type of friend, who transcends all these categories. And doing anything at all without this one person becomes unimaginable. 

‘Pashlinder, my pashi, where will I go ya without you! I’m right here- your designated everything! How can I defy anything you ever say to me Pashi. Your wish is my command!’

We laughed again.

And just like that, the suitcases were zipped up, the documents were filed, a last meal was done and I realized that this time tomorrow, my speed-dial will be trying to reach a ‘this number is temporarily out of service’. 

And just like that, I’ll make conscious efforts to drive far from the ridge, away from the Civil Lines metro station, and still will end up finding myself going back from time to time to a broken fence behind that old juice ki dukan. 

We went there today, one last time {hopefully not the last time forever}. Through that stupid narrow opening into the dark alley, lit one up in shared company, looked around and smiled, not meeting each other’s eyes on purpose, and this was a prelude to the first real goodbye hug. And as a tear reached our eyes, I looked up. And tonight, I saw, there was just one star in the sky. And I realized, for the first time, that this is really goodbye. 

In that moment, I knew that come tomorrow, my travels from the older part of Delhi will be unaccompanied. That my phone bill and phone battery will decrease and increase respectively. That my weekends will be a lot more sober. That my attitude needs a check now and my tantrums will need to chill the fuck out. That no undivided attention will be coming my way. That my work will probably be more efficient. That the ‘random’ from my routine will disappear and that I might become more serious, a term I don’t generally associate myself with. That I might not be interested in making any more plans. That I might scroll through my phonebook and wonder what went astray. That my crazy best friend might just have taken a part of me away.