Dilli ke Log, Dilli ki Batein

By Tanvi Girotra

We have a tendency of putting people in categories when we meet them for the first time. As we get to know them better, they’re ‘unboxed’ from these categories, and over time may shift circles. We can justify ourselves as much as we want but generalizations and stereotypes are just a more convenient way of looking at the world. Har ek friend zaroori hota hai, but har ek friend and har ek aadmi for that matter alag hota hai. And while life would be a hundred times simpler if we treated everyone the same way, solved all our problems with same techniques, and felt the same way about every new person we meet, it would also be a lot less meaningful. 

Dilliwaalas are a little more dramatic than that, obviously. Imagine a situation where you’re meeting someone for the first time. What is the first thing you do? Search for their name on Facebook. Look at your mutual friends with them. Call or text or email each of those mutual friends with questions about this particular person. ‘What college did he go to? Where does he stay? Is he good looking? Is he single? Will he pay for drinks?‘ A Dilliwaalas reputation precedes him. Everything from your current job, your college degree, the last person you dated, the last bar you were seen in, your bank balance, the colour of your car {a flashy blue anything will cost you more than your reputation}, your shoe size is and forever will be considered even before you tell them your full name.

But if you would just look at Dilli and the thousands of types of Dilliwaalas, you would notice a broad pattern. I’m sure everyone you know can be divided into the following categories of Dilliwaalas.

The Corporate Dilliwaala

This Dilliwaala is the corporate slave. Think young men in the smartest suits, shirts, ties and shiny shoes, and women in their Prada pencil skirts and Monolos, up at 8 in the morning in a rush to reach their meeting on time. If you thought these people belonged only to Wall Street, you are mistaken. Gurgaon is the new Wall Street and all these Corporate Dilliwaalas take themselves and their work very seriously. They don’t shy away from telling people that they work hard, and will make sure that his entire Facebook friends list knows when he is at the office post 9. Let’s not even get to the weekend! A rather peculiar transition occurs on Friday nights when these men and women move around in flocks around the cheapest or the most popular club. Post a long week of making reports, submitting reports, clocking the hours, they need alcohol! 

The Studying Dilliwaala

These Dilliwaalas occupy a large part of the metro from 8 to 10 a.m. and then from 12 to 1 p.m. Whether its the yellow line joining North and South Campus, the violet towards LSR, or the blue or red towards a hundred other Universities; all these young, bubbly and excited students may appear to have stark differences but have a lot in common! Their conversations in the metro are rather interesting to overhear {I’m not saying I do that. I’m just saying they would be interesting if you tried}- everything from Philosophy, Economics, the intricacies of Political Theory and names in English Literature that you can’t even pronounce. But it’s not just that. This ‘Studying Dilliwaala’ has a personality of his own that he only hopes doesn’t burn away as he grows up; he might not be the smartest but he knows whats happening around him. He might not be politically active, but he knows his rights and will protest if they’re ever taken away from him. 

The Whiny Dilliwaala 

Personally, I am not very fond of this Dilliwaala. He finds fault in everything and everyone around him. He’s the guy in the restaurant talking about how small the portions are. He’s the guy in the bar commenting on how loud the music is. Actually, this position is somehow invariably taken up by women more than it is by men. She would change everything about Dilli if she had it her way! She hates the traffic, the pollution, the poverty, the pretension, the inflation, the government, the ‘chai ki dukaan‘ in the middle of the road, the women’s compartment in the metro, the new mall, the zoo, the education system, the drainage system and everything around that. She has an opinion about everything, and she is not afraid to speak her mind. 

The Musical Dilliwaala 

This Dilliwaala finds music in everything. The sounds of the horns in a traffic jam are his notes. The flowing Yamuna is his melody. The chattering women in Sarojni Nagar market are his inspiration for a new song. You will find him at every performance at Blue Frog or The Living Room. He doesn’t go for lunches or dinners, he goes for gigs. These supremely talented individuals might look normal from the outside but they have something absolutely unique brimming inside of them. Their mind is always at work and they never miss even the minutest of details. I would actually attribute this category to all talented Dilliwaalas. 

The Vela Dilliwaala

Of all the Dilliwaalas above and below, this guy knows Dilli the most. He has been to every restaurant, garden, club, event and not just that – he’s the guy that all the bar owners know and recognize, and might just offer a discount to as well if he asks politely. If you ever need a fun place for a good outing, forget google. Call this guy. He can recite menus and prices in his sleep and he comes with a value add- he also knows all the routes and traffic points you should avoid. Make sure you have him on speed dial!

The Dilliwaala in Love

This Dilliwaala knows one and only one person- his true love. He has committed the cardinal sin of ignoring his friends, family, colleagues for the sake of his one and only {or not, but he’s willing to take the risk}. But what this love struck Dilliwaala cannot ignore is Dilli. If you’re in love, Dilli becomes your muse. Every street, every building, monument, garden, small coffee shop, every changing season, every smell reminds him of her {or her of him}.  Dilli goes out of its way for people in love – it becomes the most comforting arm chair, the most calming breeze, the most beautiful scenery. But be careful. Overdose of love in Dilli might cause judgmental looks and comments by fat aunties. Or the maali’s in Nehru Park or Lodhi Garden, or their “venue of choice”.

The Fancy Dilliwaala

They {and their credit cards} are a very important part of Dilli, and you could love them or hate them, but you definitely can’t ignore them. I’m talking about the women dressed to the nines at Emporio or Promenade with their Prada heels, the men who smell like a bottle of Davidoff dressed in a suit stitched just for them, and the Dilliwaalas you’ll find in Kitty Su on Saturday nights. Just a thought here, it’s a little too dark for anyone to notice your face. Go easy on the make-up, ladies!

The Simple Dilliwaala 

These Dilliwaalas constitute more than 70% of the population.  Though I see them everywhere, somehow there’s a  cultural barrier between me and them. The guards, the drivers, the laborers, our maids, the inhabitants of the towns and villages in and around Delhi. They know more about this city than we could ever imagine. They go past the first impressions and the stereotypes {that this write up is admittedly overflowing with}, and see you for who you truly are – a human being. Wasn’t it Dumbledore that said “Judge a man not by how he treats his equals but by how he treats his inferiors”. Well that’s something that I’ve learned from them!

Photo courtesies: http://unpredictableblog.wordpress.com/2011/07/24/thesis-delhi-metro-might-be-a-pn-junction-diode/; www.findyourcalm.blogspot.in; www.coolage.in